Background: Someone posted video footage of Super Mario 3D while playing it at one of the booths at the E3 conference. The video is about 9 minutes long. Sucks to be the guy standing behind him… sucks to be me.
Original post:
Me:Finally I found you, you piece of shit. I was standing behind you the entire time waiting for you to stop playing. But you wouldn't fucking stop! I waited for 8 minutes and 56 seconds and you just kept hogging the fucking game! And FINALLY when you put the game down, Reggie CLOSED THE BOOTH! I swear to god you are the biggest piece of shit I've ever had the displeasure to stand behind and I hope you die a painful fire-related death.
Some fuel:
liamisultimate7788:you cant wait till 2012 or later this year for it to come out to play it...i know you were excited to play it but calm down
Me:No. You know what, I flew all the way from fucking Philadelphia just to play this demo. That's literally the only fucking thing I came to the conference to do: try Super Mario. That's it. THAT'S IT! THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO DO. I sat through 6 hours of complete bullshit just to play the game and I didn't even get to do that. So don't fucking tell me to calm down.
I done goofed:
kevinkirk147: Please quit this language.......absolutely no need for it...Wait for the game to come out you utter waste of space.
Me: Please quit the senseless name-calling. I am not that thing you said, and if you were in my shoes you'd have said the same thing so stop being a hypocrite.
kevinkirk147: how dare you???? May I quote you as saying 'I hope you die a painful fire-related death'......was there really any need for that?? REALLY??? Consider yourself reported to Youtube and soon enough, your account should be locked. Unreal.
Me:Oh god. Please, please, please, do not report me to Youtube. I really don't want my account to be locked, I'm begging you. I am sincerely sorry for everything I said, and I will no longer be an antagonist.
sixgusts: Hey Kevin Kirk, why don't you buy a one-way ticket to heck buddy!
Needless to say, I learned my lesson: Do not use foul language or call anyone a hypocrite on YouTube. You never know when they might CONSIDER YOU REPORTED.
Background: There were so many Minecraft tutorials on YouTube that I decided to make my own… Except my aim was to make the absolute worst tutorial of all time. God save you if you try to follow this video.
This exchange is entirely between me and one other user:
Him:this tutorial wasnt very helpful for me. u can easily build your house out of dirt and be perfectly safe u just need to build it on all sides and have a roof
Me: That is a shame. I have been playing Minecraft Alpha for 16 years, I think I have an idea of what I am doing. You should do yourself a favor and at least TRY a cactus shelter in a dark cave. You will be much more successful.
Him: 16 years??? has it not only been out for 2 years? anyway i will give the cactus thing ago as it looks interesting but why in a cave?
Me: I am best friends with Notch. He gave me the game 16 years ago, when he first created it. It's important to make your cactus shelter in a cave because mob never spawns in caves. They only spawn in well-lit areas. You are most safe in a cave, with a shelter made either of cactus, trees, or water.
Him:wow i never new it was in development that long, but mobs do spawn in caves and basically anywhere its dark
Me:You must be thinking of something else. Mobs only spawn in well-lit areas.
Him: no i have minecraft and im playing it right now acctually. do u have the newest version with the tools and stuff where u craft things like torches? u have torches to light up places so mobs cant spawn
Me: Yes I always have the newest version. Mobs only spawn in well-lit areas. That's why you shouldn't use torches in caves.
Him: but that dosent make sense, notch even says on his forums that they only spawn in dark places. in the halloween update place have to be brighter the lower u get or mobs will spawn just go ask notch
Me: I did ask Notch. He said "Yeah, I was just lying to everyone haha."
Him: i dont beleive u -.- lol but you are wrong thats why they only spawn at night
Me: Well believe whatever you want, but you should try making a cactus shelter in a dark cave sometime.
Him:can u put torches on cactus blocks? i might go try it now
Me: I do not recommend using any torches at all. They make mob more likely to spawn. I also don't recommend ever leaving your shelter once you have made it. Just stay there until you win the game.
Him: lol but u cant win. so u just make a shelter and do nothing? that sucks
Me: You can win. It took me 9 years to do so, though.
Background:For those of you who don’t know this interesting fact, the real Mario Bros. 2 was never released in the USA. The difficulty was truly staggering and Nintendo of America didn’t think Americans had the balls to handle it. So what we got instead was a game called Doki Doki Panic; Nintendo changed a few sprites to make them look like familiar Mario characters, and then marketed the game as “Mario Bros. 2” to America. That’s why it’s so drastically different from all of the other (real) Mario games.
Anyway, this video on YouTube features a hobbyist playing the final boss in the ORIGINAL Doki Doki Panic.
Conversation with Japancommercials4U2 (video’s creator):
Me:ok like no ofense this game is totally rip off of mario brothers 2 i am righting to reggie at nentindo and teling them it hapen that ppl rip of there game....
Japancommercials4U2: Super Mario Bros. 2 was a USA port of this game. This came out a year earlier.
Me: yea thats wat im asyin they took this from mario brothers 2 they stoled it y doent anyne do some thing about it...
JapanCommercials4U2: How can Nintendo steal from themselves? They made both games. The real Super Mario Bros. 2 was only in Japan because of it being too difficult to USA audiences. Doki Doki Panic was just a random game Nintendo made in 1987. The USA Super Mario Bros. 2 was a re-skinned version of Doki Doki Panic released in 1988.
Me: yea but all im saying is they stold this game from mario brothers 2 it called mario broths 2 and china stole d it and calling it "doki doki panic" its calld mario...
JapanCommercials4U2: Forget it, some other viewer will explain it.
Eikohasano chimes in:
Eikohasano: I think you need to read a little more thoroughly. Doki Doki Panic is the ORIGINAL game. Super Mario Bros 2 would the the MODIFICATION of the ORIGINAL game that is Doki Doki Panic. Nobody stole this game. As the uploader said, both games were created by Nintendo, and they merely edited Doki Doki Panic to be a Mario game. THIS is the original Japanese game, and not the Mario game that it was MODIFIED into and released in the West.
Me: yea i alredy understnad it but im just sayein gthey chineese shoulnt of stole the gam from nentindo...
Then ThatNickGuy28:
ThatNickGuy28: You moron. This came out first, in Japan. Then Nintendo decided to re-design it as a Mario game and released it in North America as such. THIS came first, therefore, Super Mario Bros. 2 is, in fact, the ripoff of this.
Me:rite that what im sayn in dtno no y they steeling from mrio then hthey jut ogot the name of the game rnong its mario 2 i dont no wat "doku doeke" si but its not mario it suposd t obe mario...
Then 12345eccles:
12345eccles: No doki doki panic was released in japan before super mario bros 2 was released in the USA. japan got a completely different super mario bros 2. I don't know why they didn't give us the original super mario bros 2 but our version was just re-skinned version of doki doki panic. The original was released later and was called the super mario bros the lost levels.
Me: i don get it tho u say the chineese stolen the mario doki panic from tjhe panic? i don get it lok jus tlike mario2 n i dno no y the chineese stling the game 4 th america..
Then beastman5566…
beastman5566: Kid you're an idiot, this game was never originally supposed to be a mario brothers game! Super mario 2 as you call it was always supposed to be Doki Doki Panic. Super mario 2 was created off Doki Doki panic because the game was supposed to have co-op and was canceled because the co-op aspect of gaming wasn't big then. So they converted it to mario and released then released doki doki panic later on.
Me: rite that wat im sayen so thy have mario 2 and nentindo make mario 2 then mario 2 and the chineese stolen the mario 2 from the nentindo and that y im so upst, i don tthink any1 gets tat ut im gona right to reggie and tel him the chineese have stolling his gam cuz the call it doki doki panic it spposed to b mario 2... the jusy chenged a few thing an cal it diferent game that not fair to mario..
Then finally, an actual conversation… In “list form”?
039Purin:1. You're an idiot.
2. Miyamoto made both games.
3. Super Mario Bros. 2 (AKA: Super Mario USA) was made because the Lost Levels was too hard, and at the time, Miyamoto was making Doki Doki Panic. Soon after DDP's release,Nintendo slapped on Mario (Imajin), Luigi (Mama), Peach (Lina), and Toad (Papa), and called it Super Mario Bros. 2. If you were a smart person, you'd realize it isn't a "true" Mario game (altough it was a very good game) due to the different music,etc.
Me:ye but i dnt understnd y reggie wud b ok w chineese stoling from mario it was a mario 2 game then they make a gme in china "doki doki panick" ad it the game game as mario 2 but they change the name 2 dokipanic so my pont is they stolinged from mario 2 tand that y im gona write reggie 2 tel him that they stoling the game..
039Purin:4. Think of what beastman said: it was origanally a co-op, but was scrapped.
5. THE FACT THAT PEOPLE PLACE IN CAPITAL LETTERS LOCK SAYING IT WAS BEFORE SMB2, AND YET YOU LACK REALISING SMB2 IS THE REAL CLONE PROVES YOU ARE A TROLL
Me:um ok i not no y im a troll i dont no wat u mean im not ugly i hav a girlfrend and i dont think u under stand they chineese stoling the game..
039Purin:6. It is Japanese.
7. Look through Super Mario Wiki, and search Doki Doki Panic.
8. Why am I wasting my time talking to a retard?
Me:ok ye i ben to that and it say doki panic but it a rip off of mario 2, and chineese and japenese are the same contry its both asia.. it the same thing and im not a retard i hve a girlfredn
039Purin:9. China and Japan are different in MANY ways.
10. Seriously, you SpamTroll, search on Super Mario Wiki and search [DOKI DOKI PANIC] on the site.
11. If anything, SMB2 stole DDP (although Nintendo can't steal from themselves).
And one more bite..
Charizard4410:The game was originally called doki doki adventure but nintendo decided to remake it to fit american gamers so super mario bros 2 ripped this game off not the other way around
Me: doki doki aventure so ok so u hav game call it doki doki panic and ten other chineese stoling it and calling it doki doki aventure an another chineesed stoling it and caled it mario bros 2 but i don understna y the chineese stoling the game cand call it 2 difrent things it no make a sense and the chieeese stoling the game so i tel reggie i alrdy email him..
Background: There is a video on YouTube called “THE WORST NATIONAL ANTHEM OF ALL TIME”, featuring a high school student who completely bombs the national anthem. Her performance is truly unlistenable. That girl was me. The conversations may be a bit hard to follow because I often held multiple conversations with different people at the same time. I tried to split it up in the most ergonomic way possible.
The original post:
Me: This was me singing, and I just want to say you guys are a bunch of assholes and I hate you all. Everyone loved my performance and it was spot on. If it was so bad, why was everyone cheering so loudly?
A few initial responses:
billybatson55: LOL to over shadow your horrible singing you cumdumpster
SOCOM24LIFE: it was almost as bad as rosanne's version.....
carmenj: They were making fun of you!
Me: Bullshit. You're all just fucking jealous.
Conversation with rlebovits:
rlebovits: You really think this was "spot on"??!!??? I'm sorry, but this is disgraceful. People cheered to make you feel good. You cannot expect people here to do the same.
Me: Haha, yeah right. You know, one week from my performance, the student council voted to award me a place in the student hall of fame for Best Star-Spangled Banner Rendition in Castro Valley High history? What, you think they're just trying to make me feel better, too? Haha, just further proof that everyone here is PURELY jealous.
rlebovits: Actually, if they really voted for that, then everyone else must suck worse. I'm sorry, and I'm really not trying to be mean here, but this is absolutely awful.
Me: You're just jealous of my abilities. Can YOU sing as well as I can? I'd like to see you try to get that many people to cheer for you.
rlebovits: I'm in no way jealous of anything you did here. Your voice is ok, but you massacre the song completely. And if you seriously think that this is good in any way, shape, or form, well, then, you're delusional. I will give you kudos for the same reason people cheered for you: regardless of how it sounds, it is difficult to get up in front of that many people and do anything. Lot's of people don't have the guts to do it. But it sounds terrible. I'm sorry, but it really does.
Conversation with GoPatriots100:
GoPatriots100: I'm a REAL musician and sure, they cheered, not because it was good, but because it was hilarious. you changed keys about 8 times. funny, but musically disgusting xD
Me: Oh? A "REAL" musician? A "REAL" musician would understand that my performance was flawless. The entire crowd was obviously full of people who TRULY understand good music. So next time you want to be a "REAL" condescending dick, get your facts straight.
GoPatriots100: you didn't STAY ON KEY. I've got nothing against you personally but its a fact. You changed keys after like every phrase, and on "rockets red glare" you obviously couldn't quite reach it, oh and to FIND THIS VIDEO, you'd HAVE TO LOOK UP "National Anthem FAIL" so obviously you knew, or someone told you like it is. But thanks for the laughs!
Me: And I'll have you know, the student council decided to award me a spot in the Castro Valley High Student Hall of Fame for my, AND I QUOTE, "Stellar and heart-warming performance"
Me: "oh and to FIND THIS VIDEO, you'd HAVE TO LOOK UP "National Anthem FAIL" so obviously you knew, or someone told you like it is. But thanks for the laughs!"
Considering I'm not the one who uploaded this, your logic is completely and utterly flawed. Are you completely stupid? I could upload a Beatles song and call it "WORST SONG EVER RECORDED!!!" Does that mean the Beatles "obviously knew," or told someone it's the worst song ever recorded? YOU'RE A FREAKIN MORON!
Conversation with MusicXXLover123:
MusicXXLover123: sorry, but u were a lil off pitch. i loved that you did it, cause i would def hav had trouble gettin up infront of everyone! but still! u hav to kno that u were off a LITTLE!
Me: Nope, sorry. I even showed this to my voice teacher (at JULIARD, I'll have you know), and she was in tears at how beautiful it was.
MusicXXLover123: hey! im not tryin to start anything i swear. but im gonna stand by my beliefs and you can stand by yours. i think you were off, you think you were pitch perfect. leave it at that. and a lil tip: TAKE the criticism and DEAL!
Me: I take criticism when the criticism is valid. However, this performance was just flawless. I've watched it over 600 times, and I have yet to find a single sour note. There is a reason I was voted "Most Likely to Become a Professional Singer" in the yearbook poll.
MusicXXLover123: wow. cant you hear the ppl booing you in the back?! and the title of the vid rings loud and clear. btw--> 0:11 0:50 1:34 to 1:44 .
ALL SOUR POINTS! and making your voice go up and down like that makes it sound even worse. ur also a little nasal!
Me: People often boo out of jealousy. I've gotten used to it. I've won more awards for my performances than you've seen in your life. Also it's called STYLISTIC VIBRATO. Maybe if you knew anything about music, you would have understood that.
MusicXXLover123: i know what it is. that's just NOT it. i know about music and i've seen great people sing on stage, like Rinetta Manager! she's fantastic and you are NOTHING compared to her. get that through your head or you wont go anywhere in life.
P.S. ppl dont boo out of jealousy. they boo bacause they hate the performance AND the performer.
Me: Well hey listen, if you want to be a communist bastard who hates the United States and hates our National Anthem, then by all means, go ahead. Why don't you just move to the Soviet Union, Vodka Drunkinski?! Everyone loved my performance (except for the AT MOST, THREE people in the crowd who booed out of jealousy) Also, I happen to know who Rinetta Manager is, and I must say she is awful compared to me. She has no flare and sounds like a dying cow.
Conversation with BowTiesareCool12:
BowTiesareCool12: you are soooo full of your self!!!!!! YOU SUCKED!
Me: I wowed everyone in my school that night. Hence the award I received for my performance. I think it's hilarious and almost sad that you're jealous of my abilities. Why don't you get a hobby, loser?
you cant sing and i have many hobbies why dont you find one your good at :)
BowTiesareCool12: i think its hilarious that you think anyone could be jealous - oh yes i'm very jealous of the fact
Me: I'm glad you think so. You are so disreputable and so unbelievably bad at everything you do, that your condemnation actually acts as positive reinforcement. I thank you for your compliment, and will continue to WOW audiences as I have been doing since I was 1 year old.
BowTiesareCool12: bad at everything i do.. wow you dont even know me- if ur talking about the TWO videos i have on my account that i know are bad cuz i dont have good editing sortware on my laptop then ok owww that hurts so much. and you dont wow anyone :D
Conversation with ChiefBanj0:
ChiefBanj0: how stupid are you?! you got voted in the top ten worst national anthems by time magazine! dont tell me your good!
Me: Haha, and don't act jealous. Time Magazine personally sent me a letter telling me how jealous they were of my performance. That's what it all boils down to. "Wahhhh I can't sing as well as she can, I think I'll make her look bad by putting her in my crappy magazine no one reads!" Haha I swear, you guys should all get lives and stop being jealous of my talents. You have your own talents I'm sure.
Conversation with azumi149:
azumi149: Stop sounding so cocky. We all know, and I bet all the people during that performance knew, that the singer (you, if it was you), did a horrible performance.
Me: Haha. Apparently you are yet another little shit who doesn't know a thing about REAL performance. Do yourself a favor and leave music to the talent such as My self. You're just embarrassing your self.
azumi149: Well, it might be true that I don't know what a real performance is, but what I DO KNOW, and I'm sure as hell about it, is that yours was still horrible, no matter what you say.
Me: Haha, well enjoy being wrong. Let me know once you've studied Vocal Performance and Music Theory as extensively as I have (14 years, I'll have you know). Then maybe you will understand the beauty of my interpretation. But honestly, I don't see much potential in you. You'll probably never understand like I do, sadly.
azumi149: Right. Continue deceiving yourself. That's what pathetic people do anyway. And btw, I think you reply to our comments just to get your stupid video more views. Well, you know what, I'm gonna click the dislike button whenever I enter this video. Kthnxbai
Me: Haha, well thanks for informing me of why there are so many dislikes to begin with! It's jealous little shits like you who dislike my video over and over again. See the 139 likes? Those are people who actually understand music. I bet the 63 dislikes came from one or two people like you who are jealous and have NO LIVES! You probably clicked it over and over again because you're JEALOUS. So thank you for informing me!
Some people just don't understand the beauty of my work.
This exchange is entirely between me and one other user:
Her: Dude you sucked so badly at all of them and in the begging you said fell free to give me your input and most of the people do and you come back with the most stupidest cocky answer ever icould understand if you were good but you ain't!!!!!!!
Me: Well, it looks like you, just like everyone else on this Web Site, is jealous of my god-given talent. It's okay; if I were you, I'd feel the same way. If you'd like I can offer you some pointers for a low one-time fee.
Her: ok I'm not jealous that's one and two if you were close to good iwould admit it no doubt about that and for a low fee ICANN get help by you for what on how not to do voice impression ummmm noooo thanks and why bring god into this and blaming him on that voice impression that you say is good??
Me: Great. We can start lessons as soon as this coming Tuesday. I hope you don't mind but I've already billed your parents' credit card accordingly; It will be $250 for the first month (lessons are every Tuesday from 7 pm to 7:20 pm) and $245 for each following month. I used the card to pay for 18 months in advance, for your convenience.
Her: wow dude how nice of you?!!.. You really shouldn't though but ido give you prop because some people don't have the guts to put up some of their talents? Anywho that's your opinion and this is mine your okay but as for the best not..
Me: Thank you for your incorrect opinion. If you ask any expert on voice acting, he / she will tell you that my work is top notch. Please consult with someone more knowledgeable and then come back to me.
Her: okay dude WTF iwas trying to say you suck in a nice way but now your even more dumb like man get over yourself for real I've seen better on YouTube than this garbage and you think your the best not even close to okay and nobodys opinion can be wrong that's why it's called an opinion but you suck and that's a fact for sure your a kind of person who thinks their the best when the clearly aren't are you tone deaf or something your like a horrible singer who thinks he's good ??!!!!
Me: Thank you for complimenting my singing. Even though I don't believe you've ever heard it, it's evident that I must have a killer singing voice based on my spot-on impressions. I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say in your message here, but I can only assume that you have correctly decided you were wrong in your judgment. I accept your apology.
Her: okay wow so its seems like your still 10 so iguess I'm going have to be the mature one and leave it alone grow up
Me: Leave what alone? Leave the fact that you were wrong and you're just having trouble admitting it? Yeah, I guess you could do that. It doesn't make you mature at all, though. Mature people are able to ADMIT when they're wrong. So if you want to take that leap of faith towards maturity, I highly recommend you just admit you were wrong about my talent and move on with your life.
Her: pienses en ti perra tonta you get keep thinking in that weird shaped head of yours that your good
Me: Thank you for your apology which you seem to have written in Spanish for some reason. I will continue thinking that I'm the greatest in my beautiful and very normally-shaped head, and I'm very pleased to have your support now.
Her: you wish it was an apology and idoubt you have any supporters now you can move on with you life creep
Me: You don't think I have any supporters? My video has over 500,000 views and I've been contacted SEVEN TIMES for professional employment. I've made well over $60,000 dollars just from doing voice-over acting and performance in the last 8 months! I have a FAN PAGE with over 1200 active users. What have you done with your life?
Her: Haha wow you suck 1200 don't you think if were the best you would have more active users Lmboooo dude you think your big shot please why don't you take your supposed "$60,000" and get lesson from the real professionals yea more like 6 cents maybe you should go get a real job!!!!.
Me: I have just started getting famous. 1200 fans and growing every single day. Yesterday I had 1100. Tomorrow I'll have 28,000. And I am going to be so rich that I'll buy your entire neighborhood and piss all over it from my private jet.
Her: okay stupid whatever you believe in thar ugly ass of head of yours and stop pretending to be Billy west so pathetic you suck face the facts and their only following you to see how bad you are :)
Me: You would be delusional if it weren't for your blindness. Please ask any of your friends to check out my video. I guarantee they will side with me and disagree with you. Go on, unless you're scared.
(At this point a friend of mine came in “supporting me”, pretending to be famous voice actor Billy West)
Her: @xdecemberflower && "@therealbillywest" one y'all both are death if you think you even have a chance of coming close to be okay your dead wrong and btw Billy west doesnt have a YouTube account FYI but I'm sure you knew that already since your trying to be him :) you will never ever be good you loser get that through you head kay and why would I show somebody else this dumb video. you have like 498 views on it if you were the best It would be more!!! Duhhhh
Me: This video actually has over 500,000 views. I just reset it a few days ago so people (like you) wouldn't get jealous. Looks like my plan has failed and people (like you) are still getting jealous over my video. So I'm very sorry that you don't possess the talent I do. But please do not take it out on me, or on my colleague Mr. West. I think the reason you don't want to show your friends this video is that you're afraid they'll disagree with you. Just admit it.
Me: Haha, I just got your inbox message. "look please just lay off ok??? i know its cuz im jealous but i dont want people to see that i just dont like to look like an idiot ok i know i was wrong so please just drop it ok get on with your life and dont post this message! its PRIVATE and your voice impressions really are great your right but they are not the best its my opinion get over it and im sorry for being mean" Enjoy being exposed!
Her: WTF are you talking about ididnt write in your inbox are you bi polar or just crazy
Me: Yeah, right, deny it all you want. I have it right there in my inbox. Maybe you should just quit while you're behind and stop commenting ;]
Her: haha dude your a trip first trying to be Billy west now trying to say I wrote you when I don't even know how to send messages but ithink there's something wrong with you and good luck with that
Me: Well good to know you're a compulsive liar; you just sent me an inbox message and now you claim you don't know how to send inbox messages, nice work. Caught you red-handed. The only thing wrong here is your out of control jealousy. You need counseling. Luckily for you I have my doctorate in clinical psychiatry and I run my own private practice. For your convenience I have charged your parents' credit card an orientation fee of $450. Stop by around 3:30 pm tomorrow.
Her: your right you are good at what you do I'm sorry for giving you a hard time and good luck on your voice impressions :)
Me: Thank you very much for your apology and I appreciate your realization. I sincerely hope you've learned that jealousy is not the answer. Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments you may have, or if you would like some free* tips. Please also refer all of your friends to check out my voice impressions video! A new video will be surfacing next week, so subscribe!
